Brokenhearted

While I'm lonely brokenhearted. Life's not over, I can start again. While I'm lonely brokenhearted. It's a hurting thing to get over. - Brandy

I am stuck between my heart and my conscience. Yes, I am that girl that can’t get over her ex and I always settle for less. People say you never forget your first love but Dam, I didn't know it was going to be this hard and this long. It’s been almost 9months since we broke up, I need to suck it up and move on. I tried, in beginning of December I went out with Donald. That didn’t last, we broke up at the end of January, and we broke up over nonsense. After me and him broke up, he called every day and said he missed me, something that the other didn’t do. I hate to compare people but it is what it is. I spend every weekend with Donald and I see the other once a year. I love them both but I love the other one more. Why does shit have to be so dam complicated? When I am on the phone with Donald we talk about everything but the other all I hear is my TV and his TV. I mean, me and him talk then after a while it gets boring. I would be fucking pissed if I lost Donald. I can't say I'm in a love triangle because Donald love me, I love the other and Donald but who does the other love (not me). To make matters worse the other has a girlfriend. // pretty Ricky song: So Confused. // I always tell them both that action speaks louder than words. The other just says the words, while Donald says the words and also does the action. That is what I mean when I said I settle for less. “You don’t miss something until its gone” I think I just miss him a lot, more than I can handle. When Donald goes off to college, I am going to feel the same way about him. One thing I regret is not taking Donald back. We now agreed that I can’t handle long distance relationships, so we are going to stay friends. I have trust issues, even if I did go back out with Donald, I would assume that he was doing something. He is going into a new environment, new people, and nines out of ten he is going to mess up like the other. I am not getting my heart broken AGAIN. After all the drama I went through with both of them, I am still brokenhearted. I wonder who I am going to the prom with. Donald would go with me but the other, he wouldn’t be up for it or this nikkah would forget. So I have to see what this summer brings me. I promise I wont wear my heart on my sleeve.

-Jay.Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ