2010

Happy New Year!!!
I know I am extra EXTRA extra late. lmao

Sadly I didn’t get my laptop!!! I was really pissed off. I really hope I get it for my birthday which is in a week away. I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I love what I got for Christmas, but I was really looking forward to my laptop.

Anyways I thought cutting the old people that was stressing me in my life for 2010 was a good thing. NO. . . not at all. I really miss talking and texting them. As yall don’t know I was talking to this boy name Joshua. He is Filipino and isn’t my type at all. I wanted to try something different. He once asks me what my type of boy. I told him that I don’t know. I thought about that question, I’m just used to talking to people in my race. Besides that our relationship was moving too fast. The one thing I told him is that I have trust issues. Well he lied to me and he said he didn’t have a girlfriend. It turns out that he did. He had a long distance relationship with some girl. Thanks to facebook the truth came out even if he did try to hide it. Well he still lien about it. UgH. Why do boys lie? He told me how his friends talk to a lot of girl at once but he is the type to find just that one girl. I decided that I didn’t want to bring that drama in 2010. Me and him only talk through texting which Is annoying I rather talk on the phone. We met up like once a week to chill. I decided since we don’t talk on the phone, that I was going to tell him that me and him should be friends through a text message. I DID!!! After a few days, I sent him that message I told him that I miss him. His conclusion was that I wanted to get back with him and that I made my choice. I do miss him, I miss chilling with him in the cold just holding each other. So I was putting myself out there and his response was only // Ok. . . Ttyl. // WoOow that crazy fuck up. He act like he don’t care so why should I. This happen over Christmas Break.

As I told you that my birthday is coming up. He texted me one day out of the blue and said what do you want for your birthday. Other boys I know told me . . . break up with the person before Christmas and birthdays. That crazy I thought Joshua didn’t want anything to do with me. I told him like any other person a gift card. He said nah how about dinner, just me and you. I thought he was gasing it but he was dead serious. So dinner was last night. I told him that we should go to ruby Tuesday and we did. He came from work with his suit on and everything looking cute. I kept my jacket on and I don’t know why. He was striping talking about he was hot and he been walking all day. Lmao I told him that’s the life of a working man... He kept saying that he only had $20 -_- I told him he better go roll up his shirt and go wash some dishes. . Him and I was talking talking blah blah. . . He was like why you left me. I never thought he was going to bring that question up but I didn’t answer him, I just look at him like he is retarded. He finishes his burger like in 10mins and I was eating my pasta for a good 45mins. I hate when people see me eating. I had a good time : ) he kept me smiling. He asked me do I love him and my answer was that we only known each other for a month. I do like him A LOT. : D but the lying has to go.

As I told yall that my ex boyfriend Andrew came to New York. He wanted to get back with me. I told him that he hurt me too many times. I didn’t tell him that I was talking to Joshua because we were chilling in the rain. He would have been mad and left me standing in the rain. Little did I know he would get mad over when I told him that we are just friends? I don’t know what he thought we was but in my eyes were friends. That whole week he was up here I saw him once. Now I text him and call him he didn’t answer me back. See this little boy is playing games. I wonder if he is going to call me for my birthday.

I realize how lazy I am and it sad. REALLY sad. I see how other people are motivation to do things and I want to do this and get it over with but I get distracted. I can spend the whole day on the computer and the phone plus the T.V. Life is hard for me now. I just want everything done for me; I want the easy way out. College life is just around the corner and its going to be way harder. That why I feel sad for myself. I really don’t think I’m going to get into any colleges.